We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
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Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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