They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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