He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Your face is a jimmy john
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize