Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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