She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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