I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
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Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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