Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize