I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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