Already got asked if we're dating
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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