I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
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My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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