I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize