Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
sarcasm needs its own font
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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