You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
All I want is dick and wine.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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