i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
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Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
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We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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