Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize