My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize