I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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