it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dick very happy bro
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize