Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize