Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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