I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
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Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
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His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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