I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The best revenge is premature balding
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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