his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
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I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
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I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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