umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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