My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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