After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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