So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize