I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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