they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
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Are we still banned from the library?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
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I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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