apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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