I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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