Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize