Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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