hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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