I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Randomize