At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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