if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize