It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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