I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Randomize