All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
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Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
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I will pee on everything he values.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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