Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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