so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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