"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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