"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize