My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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