Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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