people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize