So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
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He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
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My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He shit in the fireplace
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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