He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
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Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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