i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize